I have always loved reading but while I was writing my book I simply could not read; did not matter how interesting the book was…
About a month ago I was able to read again and luckily I took just the right book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. That was the best therapy I could have got at that moment! My book was finished and there was nothing more I could do… and what did I do? I started to worry that the book might be really terrible and even I might hate it myself! My husband tried to calm me down and said that many smart people have read it and it cannot be too horrible…but I still kept worrying…
But it calmed me a bit to read The Alchemist and especially the words Paulo Coelho wrote in the beginning of the book 10 years after the book was published. He said that there are four obstacles for a human being to reach the dream (forgive me if I am using the wrong words, I read the book in Finnish, so this is my translation of what he said).
- Since childhood we have been told that whatever we are trying to do is impossible.
- We are afraid that if we try to reach the dream our loved ones will suffer.
- If we really try and then fail there is no way to say that I really did not try and did not really want to reach my dream.
- If we reach the dream we start feeling guilty: why did I reach it since so many did not.
I was very fortunate not to have the first obstacle at all: my parents and grandparents have always told me that I can do whatever I want. I do not remember any of them saying not even once that something would be too difficult or impossible for me. I can only be very grateful for having such a wonderful childhood!
The second one has been a challenge to me because I love my husband and boys so much and was worried that writing the book will take all the time away from being with them. But I should have known that I have a strong and loving family and one book is not going to be a problem :-) I remember several Sundays when one of my family members came to ask me weather we will eat lunch today…I did not realize it was lunch time because I was just writing. My family solved the problem and prepared the meals without disturbing my writing and just invited me to the table :-) I must have the best family in the world…
The third one is very tough for me. I have always been a perfectionist. And my biggest challenge in life has been to learn to live with it. I am not good with feedback weather it is good or bad, and I am afraid I will never learn to be good in that :-( But I passed this obstacle and wrote a book even though I know somebody will hate it and say it in public. But luckily I now know that some people like my book. That should help me to get over the bad moments.
The fourth one hit me the biggest. I have always worried about other people (I was about 3-4 years old when I refused to eat and my explanation was that people in Ethiopia are starving and my food must be sent to them) and I started to worry why I have got this fantastic opportunity, a dream come true, and so many people will never get it. But this is the moment I took The Alchemist in my hands and understood that this is my last obstacle on reaching the dream. My book does not take anything away from anybody: everybody who wants to write a book can do it if they want it hard enough and are willing to work for the dream.
I wrote this post probably as the last therapy session for myself :-D but I hope this will give the spark to somebody to start reaching the dream. I assure you it is worth it!